inzayned:

when you can’t hear what someone says and they repeat it 98 times and you’re still like

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COOL NEW HACK TO GET MORE ICING FOR YOUR TOASTER STRUDEL

toasterstrudel:

  1. Obtain a significant other from a country that doesn’t sell Toaster Strudel
  2. Marry them and start a family
  3. Offer to make your fam breakfast every morning
  4. Make them strudel with no icing
  5. They’ll have no idea Toaster Strudel even come with icing
  6. Take all six packets for yourself
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your reflection in the mirror for the rest of your life because you are a monster

ahkep:

actionables:

the past is a strange place

cops on bikes used to transport criminals like this

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this guy worked as an alarm for waking people up

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one wheel motorcycle

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pin-boys who manually lined pins up

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baby cage for families who wanted their kids to get enough sunlight

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zoo-keeper showering a penguin

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But who woke up the guy that woke everyone else up

3rd grade

  • friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
  • me: what
  • friend: OH MAN
  • OH
  • OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
  • I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
  • SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
  • JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.